Thursday, September 6, 2012

Be a Star!

I'm taking a break from my Detached Mother series to share this gem with you. My sister K recently posted this video on her 16 year old daughter's Facebook timeline. From what I gather, this was my niece's jam back in the day. It's the most splendidly awful bit of pop culture I've witnessed in a very long time. I present Tyra Banks singing "Be a Star" from the 2000 Disney Channel movie "Life-Size" starring Lindsay Lohan.

Clearly there's some comic action in this scene that I don't get because I know almost nothing about the plot. And that's fine. I like it that way. At first I assumed the joke was that Tyra is a terrible singer because she is. But I don't think that's why it's supposed to be funny, which makes this perfect. Ms. Banks's enormous ego coupled with her void of self-awareness makes her a most magnetic mess. She was doing the Sarah Palin thing way before Sarah Palin.

When I told Dan about this clip, he said, "Can we please never talk about this again? I kind of hate her. So do you!" He sounded so disappointed in me. It's true, a few years ago I had to break up with Tyra and stop watching "America's Next Top Model". I was fed up with her misplaced sense of importance, despite that being her most entertaining characteristic. I confess, I tried to get back into ANTM last winter when I was housebound with a newborn. Other than eating, there's nothing more fun than getting lost in some engaging drivel when you're sitting around, breastfeeding all day.

Problem was, ANTM had become sucky beyond the point of return. It was that "British Invasion" disaster.Ugh. I used to love this show for the drama. You had your mean girls and your sweet girls, your dummies and your crazies. Now it seems like they're all just different shades of dumb and mean. Is this how casting works when a reality show has been on for too long? Maybe after witnessing so many seasons of catty, cruel and self-loathing behavior, the mean dummies are the only people left who are willing to put themselves through the experience. In any case, their absolute dominance makes for a very boring viewing experience.

ANTM was best when Tyra had no right to assume that she should be a role model to her contestants but lectured at them anyway. Now it seems she really is a better person, and that's just depressing. This scene from "Life-Size" reminded me of the good old days. OMG, do you think she's ever personally lectured Lindsay Lohan?((Sigh)) One can dream.

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