2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2

On Tuesday I will be 2⁵ years old.

My goal for 2⁵ is to take driving classes and get my license.

Most people get their license when they are 2⁴, but I’ve waited twice as long.

I used to kid myself that I just didn’t care to drive, but then I discovered that I actually found it terrifying!

Undoubtedly, that had to do with all those times I was passenger in my drunken dad’s car, and the particular incident in which he ran over my foot… the day before my 15^th birthday… while I was still in the car!

But he’s dead now and a lot of stuff has changed. I’m not nearly as neurotic as I used to be and I think I’m ready to do this thing that almost any given asshole can do on any given day.

When I am 2⁶, I want to be able to say that I have been licensed for half of my life. After all, I’m not going to get a 2⁷, and these half-a-life-ago times are definitely running low.

And sometimes, every couple years, I just want a little White Castle without having to convince someone to take me.

I’m ready to enjoy all the advantages of being the grown-up I am. Getting older is cool.